A night at the Longs
by lilSunquickRose
Summary: There's a lot of ways to imagine Ruby and Yang's dad. I like to think "what if he was a stereotypical asian dad" and also thought "what if instead of grades, he was super strict and demanding when it came to kicking the snot out of bad guys?" This story is my attempt at conceptualizing that idea. Disclaimer: All characters are the property of RoosterTeeth and Monty Oum


The door opened just a crack. The tiny red cloaked figure slinking into the darkness, hopefully to go unnoticed by anyone until tommorrow morning when she could rightfully break the wonderful news. Slinking quietly, she slowly made her way down the corridor. Just past the den, that's all she needed, just to get past the den and her semblance would get her the rest of the way, but that ideal movement was not meant to be

"RUBY!"

A loud, cracking voice echoed throughout the house. There was a certain quality to it that made it so that the voice permeated through walls and easily implanted itself into the memory of children. There was no mistake...

This was most definitely the voice of a parent.

"Y-y-yes, most honorable father?"

Ruby replied, doubling back to lean against the door frame of the den, her hand clutching it as if it were a life raft designed for the sole purpose of keeping her from being swept away in the storm that was the man sitting, reclined back in a hefty armchair. His face obscured behind a newspaper that he read whilst tapping his foot in the middle of the room. For her, the discovery wasn't the most painful part, no it was what came directly afterwards.

This brief moment was the most agonizing. The reason being that he merely sat there, calmly flipping his paper and sipping his green herbal tea. It was a moment of odd tranquility where there was the slightest glimmer of hope. The hope that not only had the voice she heard merely been a trick of her mind, but also that he did not hear her reply. It was that hope that she could merely slip away to the kitchen and get herself some cookies before hurrying to bed.

Truly, it was a foolish, childish wish.

"Ruby, do you know what I am currently reading right now?"

"Ah the paper, most honorable father."

"OF COURSE I AM READING THE PAPER. DO YOU THINK I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS IN MY HANDS?!"

There it was, the routine. She knew it was a rhetorical question, but it was also one that she could not not answer. It was the methodology of her father, after all, and it was surprisingly effective.

"My apologies, most honorable Father."

"What I am reading is not the point, daughter. No, the issue is what's currently in this paper that I am reading."

She cringed, she knew that the article likely had the story of her effort to stop the criminals. This was a surefire way to spark a fire in her father and she knew that when he began he raged more furiously than the grimm in the sky.

"Four thugs apprehended. Minor wounds. Dust theft thwarted. Main culprits escapes."

He listed the facts calmly and slowly, not bothering over superfluous information. There was no need for that, it had no bearing on his lecture after all. Each word in and of itself was like a lash as she cringed repeatedly, bracing herself to the doorframe for support.

That support would not last however as he raised his eyes from the paper and gazed at her. It was a plain gaze, no sense of rage or any particular emotion, and yet it was one that could cut through any soul, a gaze that commanded those that it looked at.

"Daughter, why are you so far away from your father?"

She shirked at his question, and, purely by instinct, she was there kneeling on her knees, just shy of prostrating herself before him, her head held low.

"Now, Ruby."

He remarked, a waving hand spinning in the air as if he was trying to physically grasp this situation.

"Tell me, what is this?"

"Well you see, Father, there was this robbery and all these mean people came and I was just reading a magazine and listening to music, I mean it was really nice music, none of that bad stuff that you told me not to listen to and the magazine was about weapons and they were cool and they were like wazza boom kachoo bow! and I was like 'd'aww' but then these people came and they wanted to take my stuff and I was like 'ehhhhh?' and then there was a lot of hwah and woooooozaaaa and bang and crescent rose and shooting and and and and"

Her father merely rose his hand to stop her mile a minute rant. It was a common occurrence, but he knew her well enough and was such an important figure to her that the mere gesture was enough to cut her off.

"Ruby, you know I do not care for this meaningless banter, there is a reason I called you here and that should be obvious to you as well."

She quietly nodded in agreement with her father as she waited for it.

"Four wounded Ruby!"

"But Father it was cause they were attacking the-"

"And why wasn't it eight?"

"Well you see there were only five of the-"

"And yet you only wound four of them? What's more they are not even in intensive care?"

"But father, the only people around afterwards were civilians!"

"EXCUSES! YANG!"

"Yes, baba?"

Ruby's big sister turned up with frighteningly quick speed, almost as if she had swapped semblances with her baby sister. Truthfully, however, she was always there. It was a routine of the family, and it was common for either sister to not be far off when the other was being scolded, they had to be there for their father to use as a point of example, otherwise they'd be in the same situation as their sister.

"How many people did you beat up before you got home?"

"Mmmmm, 30 goons, one dj bear, two valley girls and one preppy idiot."

"See Ruby, that is what you call initiative!"

"But, father, she went in there and picked that fight!"

"EXACTLY. IN-I-TIA-TIVE. THAT'S FOUR SYLLABLES YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND, DOES MY DAUGHTER NEED DICTIONARY TOO?!"

"BUT-"

"DO NOT GIVE ME THESE BUTTS, I AM NOT THE TOILET!"

She was silenced in a moment, the reply was ludicrous and yet made so much sense that she couldn't counter it and merely gazed sheepishly to the side as she waited on him to continue.

"Four hooligans Ruby, only four. That is a disgrace!"

"Father, who would I have fought?"

"I see a chopper left the scene."

"I CAN'T BEAT UP THE HELICOPTER!"

"Why not? You have a scythe, you have a gun scythe! When Qrow was your age, he beat up seven helicopters while traveling through eight feet of grimm. We know that you can kick the taste of rice patty out of their mouth. As I see it, you wasted perfectly good aerial combat training and for nothing!"

"But Father, even if I beat up the plane, that would only be six people."

"Exactly!"

He pointed out matter of factly before pointing to Yang and saying.

"Yang, what is the distance between our house and the dust shop!"

"Two Block, Baba."

she replied, lightly rolling her eyes as she felt so odd for having to do this, giving Ruby a sideways glance of apology for facilitating his rant.

"TWO BLOCK! TWO BLOCKS RUBY!"

"I am aware... father."

"Do you know how many houses there are on a block? SEVEN!"

He was in full swing as he shouted so loudly that it was a wonder if the neighbors didn't hear.

"SEVEN HOUSES, THAT'S 14 HOUSES BETWEEN YOU AND OUR FRONT DOOR STEP. YOU COULD HAVE BROUGHT ANY OF THOSE CRIMINALS HERE!"

"Ah, but father..."

"NO BUTTS! THAT WOULD HAVE TAKEN YOU MAYBE 15 SECONDS. I COULD HAVE GOTTEN A HIDEOUT OUT OF THEM IN 5 SECONDS "

Yang merely shook here head in disbelief at this logic as ruby just shirked at his words

"INSTEAD OF ALL THESE BUTTS YOU'RE SAYING WITH YOUR MOUTH, YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KICKING BUTTS RIGHT NOW, BEFORE IT EVEN HIT ONE O CLOCK!"

"They're had a scary mage..."

"SCARY MAGE?! DAUGHTER YOU HAVE RIFLE! IF THEY CAST FIREBALL, CAST BULLET TO FACE"

Ruby knew she couldn't counter his logic once he got on a role, and so instead merely nodded and continued to repeat "yes, most honorable father." as he went on his rant.

"Sometimes, I wonder what you are doing, daughter."

"yes, most honorable father."

"I put food in your belly"

"yes, most honorable father."

"I put roof over your head."

"yes, most honorable father."

"I make sure Qrow put high power assault rifle in your hands."

"yes, most honorable father."

"AND YET YOU CAN NOT, AT LEAST, BRING ME 16 PEOPLE WHO WILL NEED CRUTCHES FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS?!"

she shrugged and looked away, he really wore on her when he went into his rants.

"Sometimes I feel like demoting you from daughter to family cat."

Ruby turned her eyes towards him wildly, tears welling up only for her to receive a light pat on the head.

"But even if you do not kick as much ass as I would like, you are still my daughter, and I am glad you are not hurt. You do fight well after all, I remember when you were complete garbage, now you better than mildly pleasant wastebasket."

He looked down at her with caring eyes, even as he said such nonsensical things. Despite all that he did and said, there was clearly a warm smile to greet her and a free cookie in his unoccupied hand.

Ruby began to lightly shudder as she soon enveloped her father in a big tender hug as she began to cry.

"I'm proud of and love you, ruby."

he told her to which he got a tear filled

"Eye w-w-wuv ju rue bwaba"

from his overly emotional daughter.

Yang continued to lean at the doorframe smiling at the absurdity of her family, shaking her head in slight disbelief.

That is until her father got a phone call thirty minutes later and then turned to his older daughter with a solemn expression on his face.

"What is this I hear from Qrow, about costs for damaged night club?"

"...ah, will you look at that, I've got to go pick my bike up from the shop... TALK TO YOU LATER, BABA!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!"


End file.
